The stage was set for a complete teardown. I was literally drooling to write this review because this place was breaking every rule in the book. Here is a location with the audacity to call itself a taqueria and charge you almost 5 bucks per taco! I was going to expose this and every place that tried to ruin tacos in a masterfully written takedown review that would be remembered and referenced for ages to come. It was going to be my finest hour….
B.S. Taqueria couldn’t have made this easier with that name. I was already playing around with what I could make the B.S. stand for, aside from the obvious. My creative juices were exploding as I walked into the candle-lit restaurant. I immediately began looking around for things I could poke fun of in my historic review. The tables were filled with couples and groups having romantic dinners and I wondered if there was something there but decided it wasn’t juicy enough. Maybe something in the decor?
Well, I was frustrated when I realized I actually liked the decor and kind of loved the homage to taquerias by having the kitchen in full display with the lady making tortillas in the corner. Fuck, I thought, this place is actually kind of cool. Quickly, I shook it off and sat down trying my best to ignore all of it because at the end of the day, the tacos are all that mattered and I was convinced they would suck.
The menu was everything I hoped it would be. The word “chicken” jumped off the menu and I just smiled because I knew this was the catalyst I needed to start my review. I was already typing away in my head…
This insulting attempt at a taqueria all began when I spotted the word “chicken” on their menu…
The rest of the menu was no better with vegetarian options like mushroom garlic tacos. Then I saw it:
Chorizo and papas.
Fuck. That’s pretty cool. I hated them for disappointing me. I wanted something easier to make fun of like Mexican Sausage And Potato With Avocado Aioli. Little did I know, this was the first sign of a series of disappointments and frustrations I would be facing the rest of the night.
Their drink menu bothered me. It had it all from Jarritos to Beer and if you read the last post, you know how crucial the drink is. I figured I would order a beer to wash out the awful taco taste I was about to try and maybe some guac to fill me up, seeing as how there was no way I was ordering my usual 6-10 tacos unless I was planning on dropping serious bank. Besides, places like this typically make fresh guac and it’s almost always good.
I placed my order and patiently waited to hand out the ass-whipping of a lifetime to this “taqueria”.
My food arrived and this is sort of how the battle went for me:
Meat Selection – 7/10
Before we move any further let’s hand out these scores. Hell, I wanted nothing more but to give this place a zero hoping all I would see on the menu was chicken, steak, and pork. What I was met with was an array of options for seafood lovers to vegetarians. No, they weren’t your traditional meats but they had a variety inspired by Mexican cuisine and this score is all about selection so I couldn’t fault them for that? Could they have been a little more exotic? Maybe, but they did provide options.
B.S taqueria took that round.
Meat Taste – 9/10
And then the fight was over. They fucking Conor McGregor-ed my ass the second I took a bite.
Soft and juicy chicken deliciously cooked to perfection. I had a hard time grasping how they actually made a chicken taco taste so good that I wanted to order it again. I’m not a huge fan of chicken because I eat it so much. The days I’m not stuffing my face with tacos I actually try to maintain a healthy diet otherwise I’d look like this guy:
So that means I’ve had so much chicken breast throughout my life that the last place I want to see it is in my taco. These chicken tacos actually made me enjoy chicken again and it seriously fucked me up.
Then the Carnitas took their turn with me and kicked me while I was down.
My brother and official seafood expert tried the Shrimp and was immediately pissed off because he too wanted to hate them and now all he wanted to do was order another. He did.
Finally, the Chorizo and Papas delivered the haymaker. Chorizo and papas are a tradition passed down from ancient times. I wouldn’t be surprised if they run tests on the oldest human teeth found, they discover chorizo and papa dna. As far as I’m concerned, this combination was handed down from the gods because mortals could never discover something so perfect. Anyway, this taco took this flawless combination and somehow managed to enhance it. Cooked to perfection and blended with the perfect ingredients, it just flat out destroyed me.
Topping Selection – 7/10
I’d give it a much higher score, I really would, but you don’t get to pick so there is not much of a selection. Thing is, you don’t have to. Every taco is carefully crafted with the ingredients needed to compliment their meats. The chorizo and papas had different types of cheese on them. The Shrimp had cabbage, corn, and mango perfectly complimenting it’s refreshing flavor. Every single taco was a well thought out recipe. There was no need to throw on sauce because it had the sauce it needed to have. They took the need for you to add anything and left you with only one responsibility: to enjoy it.
Topping taste – 8/10
I can’t compliment them enough on their toppings. The careful understanding of how these ingredients mix with each other made this a memorable experience. Best of all, the toppings all came from traditional Mexican cuisine so you didn’t have some BBQ wasabi bullshit that just made things weird. No, these tacos were Mexican through and through. It’s a thing of beauty. I only wish they were a little spicier but for the type of crowd this place was getting, they were just fine.
Overall – 8/10
The purple tortillas stole the show. The lady in the corner was not just for show. The woman knew what she was doing. These tortillas were so good, I wanted to take a dozen or so home with me and just munch on them whenever I was hungry but I knew they would get devoured on the uber ride back. Everything about the tacos – taste wise – is fantastic. Price? Well, that’s another story.
I’m not here to talk about all this other extra stuff like their service and all that other bullshit people comment on yelp. This is strictly a taco blog but I will mention that their staff was incredibly attentive and very friendly. The price per taco really threw me off but I am refusing to let it influence my score because you know what to expect walking in. This isn’t your typical taco stand. This is an exception to the rule. If you’re in the mood for some late night tacos after knocking back a few then this isn’t what you’re looking for. These are gourmet tacos. Hell, I even spotted some people eating them with a fork! This is where you take someone out to dinner, not where you stumble through with your buddies. It is a place that has managed to take the essence of street food and blended it with fine dining. I can’t knock them for that level of creativity. All I can do is take this L and applaud them for making me experience my favorite food in a different way.
B.S. Taqueria: 514 W 7th St
Los Angeles, CA 90014
Downtown Los Angeles